Next Step: Nola

I'm a lot like my daddy in that I don't like change. It makes me feel like a crazy person. My dad is the least crazy person I know, and since he doesn't like change, I guess I've always put the 2 together: no change = staying sane. And yet! He's been such a good father, encouraging and pushing me forward in spite of fear. The voice of my parents, even as an adult, has always allowed me to be sensitive to the voice of God, especially when sensing he is moving me forward. It has been no different this time. I've been so honored to serve my Lord at Hardy Street Baptist and delighted to have received support on Sunday as they commissioned me to move to New Orleans, LA and join what God is doing at Canal Street Church: A Mosaic Community. I covet your prayers as I begin this transition, and praise him for his continued leadership, provision and the opportunity to honor him in a city I love so dearly!

I found I had written the prayer below in a random notebook at the beginning of last year. It blew me away how applicable it is for me right now. God has a way of reaching into my past in order to shed light on his wisdom for the future. I pray it might encourage you.

Jan. 2nd 2015
Sitting on the chapel steps of the [NOBTS] seminary campus. This place and all I learned here are as much a part of me as my left arm. And yet, I'm reminded of hugging my dad, in the landing of our stairs by our front door, my car all packed, and saying "I'm not ready" before I moved here. I don't remember what daddy even said, it may have been, "I know" or "Yes, you are." [Pretty sure it was the former. Thanks, dad!] Either way, he got me out the door, into the car, prayed for me, and waved as I pulled out of the driveway. By the time I got across the terrifying and never-ending "Twin Span" Bridge across Lake Pontchartrain, passed the newly planted palm trees and got to the top of the "hill" on I10 where the city skyline comes into view, I was totally committed and completely thrilled.

What a feeling...uncertainty, apprehension, the great chasm of the unknown. Now I know that I was never more ready. I was simply standing in front of another seemingly open and empty space that, in fact, had already been filled - with a best friend, [and friends] challenging jobs, mentors, a love for God's word  that I'd never fully experienced and a pathway into ministry alongside amazing people.

Oh, God. I love you. I cannot even comprehend your wisdom. You are my Constant, my source of gravity pushing me deeper into an understanding of You and your will. Pull me closer, hold me steady!

Now, looking into the new year [day/month/season] I'm tempted to be unsure... yet, I know your wisdom says not to judge depths the bottom of which I cannot see and presume darkness where you have spoken "Light!"

Thank you for what you have planned for this year. I am ready.

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! 
How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!
Romans 11:33

Anywhere

Mark 1:12-13

The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. And he was in the wilderness for forty days being tempted by Satan. And he was with the wild animals, and the angels were ministering to him. 

Anywhere, Lord. I had meant it. It was easy to say. I had no idea where you would ask me to go, and that was more than exciting.  Anywhere but here! That’s why I wanted you. I didn’t like whom or where I was, so, this new life…with you, was it. You promised a lot.

Will you satisfy my hungry heart? 
Yes.

Can you keep me from falling and failing? 
Yes.

Will you forgive when I want to leave you? 
Yes.

When you say “Yes’”, even now, after I have believed in you for so long, I still too often find myself replacing your words with my own: “maybe not/definitely not/no way”.

And so you, being who you are, ask me to let you step into my desert of fear, doubt and temptation, which settles in my mind and my soul. Even though we’ve been here before there is apprehension. Even the first step, crossing from grass onto sand, will expose thirsts inside me too shaming for you to see. But you are already ahead of me there, waiting, where I may lay down each terrifying question safely one by one. Burn them up. May the fierceness of your heart in this fire stand over my questions and replace them with answers only you can give.

Drown my endless sand-sea of doubt with your revealed Righteousness; wash the dry terrain with the water of your Word. As we walk, I will watch my doubts fall to the ground, where you have caused them to fall before. Answers will keep coming up, maybe not all at once, but the Savior of the world, the one who himself has risen from the ground, will keep saying, “I am who I say I am.” 

You are my “Yes”. I will hold tightly to that answer as you grasp my hand.

Corinthians 1:20

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.